Unit 4: Harmony In Parenting
Week 1: Harmony Circle and Thoughts
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Objective: Introduction to the Harmony Circle and connecting thoughts to Swami’s teachings.
Focus: “Unity of Thought, Word and Deed is needed. Thoughts, words, and deeds should be in harmony with one another. Normally, people tend to think one way, speak in another and act in yet another. This is unbecoming and hypocritical.” Sanathana Sarathi March 1988.
Reading: Chapter 10: Harmony in Parenting.
Parents will read the first two sections of Chapter 10 from the beginning of the chapter and stopping at the subheading Second Stage Harmony Circle Process.
Questions for Discussion:
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What parts of the reading jumped out at you as important?
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Why is it important that we as parents align our thoughts to Swami's teachings when we instruct children?
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Have you ever attempted using Swami's teachings in instructing your own child? If so, what did you say and how did your child react?
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Take a moment to reflect and think about how you as a parent can introduce Swami's teaching more in your communications with your child(ren). Share your thoughts with your group members.
Share Session: After the discussion session, the facilitator will pick 1 question for the groups to share their collective responses.
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Week 2: Harmony Circle and Words
Objective: Review of the Harmony Circle and Words.
Focus: “The mind creates the bhavam [feeling or thought] which is expressed through the tongue in words and done by the limbs in action. Human life is a combination of the functions of thought, speech, and actions.” Sanathana Sarathi January 1999
Reading: Chapter 10: Harmony in Parenting.
Parents will read the third section of Chapter 10 only that has the subheading Second Stage Harmony Circle Process.
Questions for Discussion:
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What parts of the reading jumped out at you as important?
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Why is it important that a verbal agreement is acquired when instructing children? Are all verbal agreements made willingly?
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What is the a difference between a knowing agreement, where the child knowingly agrees to something asked of him/her vs. an unknowing agreement, where the child gives an agreement without fully understanding what he/she is agreeing to i.e. said to shut the parent up? How does each affect the outcome of the instruction originally given?
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Have you ever attempted to acquire a verbal agreement when instructing your own child? If so, what did you say and how did your child react?
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Take a moment to reflect and think about when and in what situations you will acquire a verbal agreement from your child(ren). Share your thoughts with your group members
Share Session: After the discussion session, the facilitator will pick 1 question for the groups to share their collective responses.
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Week 3: Harmony Circle and Deeds
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Objective: Review of the Harmony Circle and Deeds.
Focus: “The action itself. This is the anchor. When we fulfill what we promise, we feel good about ourselves… … you have taught [the child] unity of thought, word, and deed, and this brings peace. It also develops self-confidence as well as self-esteem.” Rita Bruce (Sathya Sai Parenting)
Reading: Chapter 10: Harmony in Parenting.
Parents will read the fourth section of Chapter 10 only that has the subheading Third Stage Harmony Circle Process.
Questions for Discussion:
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What parts of the reading jumped out at you as important?
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Why is it important that children keep their verbal agreement?
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Should a child be held accountable to complete an agreement for which he/she unknowingly agreed to? Why or Why not?
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Have you as a parent given a verbal agreement, knowingly or unknowingly, to your child and not kept your commitment? How did the child react? What is the potential negative effect of such continued behavior?
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Given Swami's teachings presented in the reading, how will you handle a situation in which your child(ren) do not want to do what they have been asked to do? Share your thoughts with your group members.
Share Session: After the discussion session, the facilitator will pick 1 question for the groups to share their collective responses.
Week 4: Harmony Circle and Consequences
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Objective: Review of the Harmony Circle and Consequences.
Focus: “When the children perform the deed, they are learning to practice what is committed, and this learning occurs throughout the physical body on all levels. When their intellect, their conscience, and their physical body are in harmony, they have positive feelings, the emotions. A good learning experience teaches them self-confidence, self-worth and self-esteem.” Rita Bruce (Sathya Sai Parenting)
Reading: Chapter 10: Harmony in Parenting.
Parents will read the fifth section of Chapter 10 only that has the subheading Fourth Stage Harmony Circle Process and ends with the subheading Harmony House of Human Values.
Questions for Discussion:
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What parts of the reading jumped out at you as important?
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Why are consequences important? Are all consequences negative?
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The aphorism "Let the punishment fit the crime" is very valid when dealing with children. What are we teaching children when we devise a punishment that is disproportional or unrelated to the misdemeanor committed?
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What is the root cause of parents creating a punishment that is disproportional or unrelated to the misdemeanor? How as parents can we eliminate this cause?
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Positive consequences are more motivating to a child than negative ones. Reflect on ways that you as a parent can provide your child with more positive consequences for their good actions yet be ready to also provide appropriate negative consequences when needed. Share your thoughts with your group members.
Share Session: After the discussion session, the facilitator will pick 1 question for the groups to share their collective responses.
Week 5: The Harmony House of Human Values
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Objective: Review of the Harmony Circle and how Human Values builds Harmony.
Focus: “The enumeration of human values as five – Truth, Right Conduct, Peace, Love and Nonviolence – is not correct. They are all facets of foundational humanness. They grow together; they are interdependent, they are not separable. Dharma, for example, is love in action; and love thrives on inner peace, on the absence of inner conflicts.” Sathya Sai Speaks Volume 6 page 158-159
Reading: Chapter 10: Harmony in Parenting.
Parents will read the final section of Chapter 10 only that has the subheading Harmony House of Human Values.
Questions for Discussion:
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What parts of the reading jumped out at you as important?
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Which part of the house do you feel is most important?
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How would sharing the image of the Harmony House impact children's understanding to the values?
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Think about yourself. Does the image of Harmony house describe you? Why or Why not?
Think about your home (not house but the home you have with your family). Does the image of Harmony House describe your home? Why or Why not?
What understanding about yourself or your home do you know have in relation to the 5 values?
Share Session: After the discussion session, the facilitator will pick 1 question for the groups to share their collective responses.